‘Not-so-eligible’ – Part 2

Wonder whether you guys were waiting with bated breath for the ‘Not-so-eligible’ part 2?
If not then, I guess you haven’t read the earlier blog. Request you to do the needful before gazing your eyes below.
Bachelor’s trick no3.

(c) CONFUSE AND CONQUER

Ayushi, another sweet talking chic, working in nearby Malad calls me to inquire about my flat.
Hello, I’m Ayushi from Lucknow. I’m looking for a rented apartment for my family.

Me: Ayushi, are you married?

Ayushi No

Me: Sorry dear, but the society doesn’t allow bachelors.

Ayushi: No, WE A-R-E F-A-M-I-L-Y
(Stupid Kareena song ringing in me mind)

Me: Family? Ok, who will be staying with you?

Ayushi: We have three sisters, my parents live in Pune.

Me: Yeah dear, but will they (parents) stay with you?

Ayushi: If you want, I’ll make them sign the agreement too

Me: Yeah, That’s fine, but will they stay at least for while in my apartment. The society only allows family. Or are you going to be staying with your siblings?

Ayushi: We are three sisters. One is studying, while the other is married. And even I’m going to get married soon. They will keep coming.

Me: What? (Totally confused)

Well, one sister is married, she won’t stay with you. Your parents will not stay with you. You are going to get married too. So Ayushi, who’s going to stay in the house?

Ayushi: (Now mumbling) Ah…ahhhh, I will marry only after a year.

Me: But earlier you said, it will happen soon!

Ayushi: No, not before a year.

Me: In that case, you’re a bachelor. While I have no problems, but the society just won’t permit you. You’ll have to bring your parents with you.

Ayushi: Sorry, they won’t stay here.

Me: Then sorry ma’am. I wish you all the best for your house hunt, and also a successful marriage. Pleasure talking to you Ayushi.

Ayushi: Same here. Goodbye

Well, another opportunity to see a Lucknowi chic goes abegging. Well, there are some more tales to share, most notable is the one by this executive from a top firm. (Or so she claimed)
(d) BACHELOR INC
Well, it would be hard to call this a trick, for it just hits you like a storm, without any warning.

Here was I shopping at a wholesale mall, when I received a call from this woman. The usual, ‘ I saw your ad’ and ‘are you a bachelor?’ stuff followed. I expected the conversation to end, but was stunned by her reply.

“Look Mr.Mayur, I’m not your typical single girl looking to share an apartment with friends. I’ll be staying alone,” the woman chided.

I’m thinking, ‘My typical girl?. I remind her of the no-bachelor rule imprinted in the society’s MOU.

She butts in, “Look, I’ work for a top-notch corporate firm having many years of experience.

(Corporate? experience?. Is she applying for a management job? Guess, it reaffirms my belief that she’s a spinster, and probably a cougar too.)

“Mr.Mayur, why don’t you talk to the society. It’s your property, you should decide for yourself. There are instances where the owners have defied the society Or let me try convincing them.”

I gather my senses and shoot back, “Look ma’am, I’m no one to judge your character. Like you, I, too, am helpless. I don’t mind giving you the flat, but society will throw you out. And if your still persisting, then I’ll provide you with the secretary’s number and you can reason it out with him. Sorry, I’m at the mall. Will have to hang up”
Uff! Never been so relieved to cut a call. She must be a terror in her organization. I pity her beau, if any.
.
Well, these were my intriguing experiences with prospective tenants. A few conversations didn’t last too long, but nevertheless they left me bewildered.

Here’s one Mr.Rajesh requesting, “Is it ok, if I give you the deposit after 3 months?”

I”m like, WTF, you gotta be kidding me. “No sir, I want all the deposit money, and one month advance rent, before I give you possession”

“Mayurji, can you still show me the flat?”

Alright, this idiot is now bugging me. So, I had to read out the bitter truth.

“Sir, jab aap afford hi nahi kar saktey, (when you can’t afford), so what’s the use of showing it to you”
Well, the above request was inane, but the one by this chic really stunned me

“Hi, there’ll be two of us staying and we will sign the agreement, but there will be two more people joining us”

Me flabbergasted, “What? Two will sign the agreement, and two more will stay. Doesn’t that make it 4 in stead of two?”

(As dumb as I am, I still hadn’t forgotten my basic math)

“Miss Pinky, are the other two your siblings?”

“No sir, they are our friends”, Pinky enunciated.

“Sorry girl, look elsewhere”.

This ain’t the first, and definitely ain’t the last weird convos. With me still not having found a tenant, the search will continue, so will these tales. If you and I are in luck, we might just have ourselves a ‘Not-so-eligible’ trilogy. Just keep watching this space amigos.

Adios!

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