Bombay Velvet – The untold story (part 2)

Please read part 1 before you read this

bombayvelvettrailer-firstlook

THE MURDER THAT NEVER WAS
Fearing that Johnny may betray him, Khambatta has an alternative plan in place. He hires a bomber to bomb Rosie’s house.

But the omnipresent Johnny is a street smart dude. He kills the bomber’s wife, puts Rosie’s clothes on her dead body, and both jump out of the window moments before the bomb explodes.

He then kills the bomber too. “Major, Now you can fuck your wife in hell”
ROSIE BANI ROSEMARY
It baffles me that if you’ve killed someone, then why would you want to attend her funeral. So Kaizad Khambatta travels all the way to Goa for Rosie’s funeral, shedding copious tears.

He consoles Johnny by pecking on the cheek and running his fingers over him again.

But here comes the shocker.

WHAT THE FUCK, ROSIE IS ALIVE?

An irate Khambatta squeezes Johnny’s balls

IMG_20150610_005814

Boss, apun ko nahi pata tha ki Rosie ki twin sister bhi hai Rosemary. But iska mooh duck jaisa kyun hai?”

(Boss, I have no idea that Rosie had a twin sister. Besides, I’m puzzled by her duck face)

The duo leave Goa and so too Rosemary.

JOHNNY’S BLUFF CALLED, NOW COMES THE PAIN

Though Rosie’s disguised herself well as Rosemary, this trick wasn’t going to fool one for long. While he’s suspicious, Khambatta is amused by Rosemary. He mails a picture of her to good friend Kuku (Kukreja)

Why is Khambatta laughing so much?

“Kuch nahi, kai saalon main aaj pehli baar Kukureja ko haste suna”

Well, fun and games are over. Rosie’s truth is out. And she’s under the custody of Khambatta.

Poor Johnny beats Khambattas goons and finally lands in the house.

“Not so fast Johnny, tujhe fight karne ka bahot shauk hai na aur muhje dekhne ka. Yeh le one last fight before I kill you and your Rosemary. Here comes the surprise pain”

WHAT THE FUCK! It’s Jimmy Mistry in his boxer shorts. What’s he doing here? Weren’t they supposed to be sworn enemies?
Khambatta sheds light, “That was until I offered him 30 per cent stake in World Trade Towers. He’s agreed to stop the negative publicity around me. And besides, we have rekindled our relationship”
Rosie butts in, “Shiiii, shi shii.. But I thought you guys were married to women. Shame on my bitchy mother. How could she have feelings for you Kaizu. If she were alive today, then I’d be the first one to kill her.”
“Rosie? Kaizad fumes. Dhiskeow! One bullet and Rosie starts bleeding to her death.

Meanwhile, Johnny is busted black and blue by Jimmy Mistry. Oh such a lame fight.

“How the fuck could you lose to this gay, Johnny?”, an embarrassed Rosie chides before her last breath.

Unable to bear the humiliation, Johnny picks up the gun and shoots himself.
LAUNCH OF WORLD TRADE TOWERS

And so with both Johnny and Rosie gone, Khambattas and Jimmy Mistry launch World Trade Towers. And boy, they have busty Raveena Tandon as an apt replacement for Rosie.
Ribbon is cut, the towers unveiled, champagne uncorked, and all that JAZZ. A perfect ending for Bombay Velvet!

NOT SO FAST. Suddenly, lighting strikes the tower and what is this?

Is it a bird? Is it a plane, no…. It’s HIMESH RESHAMMAIYA,!

Give me a break. He lands straight on Raveena, she dies instantly.

“Ha…ha…..ha…. Khambatta, Jimmy. Do you recognize me? Well you won’t. I’M BACK WITH A VENGEANCE. This is Jelly reincarnated as Himesh Reshammiya. You didn’t like me then and you sure wont now.”

He then holds the mic and starts singing

himesh
“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HUZOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRR, TERA TERA TERA KASOOOOOR”

The earth begins to shake. Oh my God it’s an earthquake. The World Trade Tower is falling like pins.

Doom dhadam, doom dhadam..When the the dust clears. Khambatta is found on top Jimmy Mistry, but both are crushed under the debris.

MUSIC:

Yeh dosti hum nahi todenGAY, todenGAY dum magar tere saath na chodenGAY
DEAD END!

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