If Alia Bhatt goes to Hollywood

She’s the gen-next superstar but Alia Bhatt is also popular figure in the world of memes.  Trolled since the time, she refused to answer simple GK questions,  Alia has since then become the Bhatt of all jokes.  Few days before her brithday, Alia expressed a desire to work for Hollywood, one day. Ambitious, I say, but sadly  the netizens found this wish as very amusing. Bhatt was soon trending on social with netizens making a mockery of her wish This writer too decided to take a look at lighter side of Alia’s Hollywood dreams.  Here are some befitting roles for you.

1.Dumb and Dumber – Alia Bhatt and Sonam Kapoor

AliaBhatt_Sonam Kapoor

Sorry Alia, but isn’t it your IQ level that’s makes you the Bhatt of all jokes on social media? So, you’ll be the perfect fit to play the ‘dumb’ damsel here. However, you can take heart from the fact there’s the dumber part will be played by Sonam Kapoor. Miss Kapoor is said to be chatterbox, a joker on the sets, so she’s be the perfect foil for Alia.

. 2. Alia in wonderland

Soni radan_01

Alice and Alia, well they sound like long lost siblings. Perhaps, Alia can swap places with Alice in Underland.  Miss Bhatt is often left wondering at the nature of jokes on her. She sure is bound to find her ilk in Underland.  As for the Red Queen, it’s hard to think of any leading heroines with a bulging forehead. After lot of search, we realized that talent lies in the family itself.  Mom Soni Razdan has bit of the Red Queen written all over her forehead.

3. The Devil wears Jaya Prada

DEVIL WEARS_Alia _&_ PRADA

Deemed a blonde, Alia is apt to play the role of Andrea Sachs from the 2006 hit comedy The Devil wears Prada.  Well, we rechristen her as Alia Saatchi. The Prada pun is enough to cast Jaya Prada as the bossy editor of Alia. Like Miranda Priestley (Meryl Streep),  Jaya Prada, too, is known to throw her weight around, (politically). Miss Prada reportedly owed Rs.1 crore for overstaying in a government accommodation. Both are least likely to make for good fashion journalists, perfectly capable of commiting many fashion faux pas.

4. Legally Blonde

Legally-Blonde_001

 

If there still any doubting Thomases who felt that Alia didn’t qualify to be a blonde, go take a walk. Miss Bhatt has enrolled herself at the institute of the Legally Blonde. Ex flame Varun Dhawan and Sidharth Malhotra can play a part or two here.

 

5. Slumdog Minionaire

slumdog-minionaire_01

Such a film would not only help Alia increase her general knowledge but it would mark her debut in an live action animated film. Who wants to be a millionaire? , Kaun Banega Crorepati are a thing of the past, it’s ‘Who wants to be a Minionaire’ that is in vogue. The quiz will be hosted by Kevin and Alia will be the poor contestant in Slumdog Minionaire. There ain’t no prize money, but the winner gets to be in the enviable position i.e boss of the Minions.

Wonder what the quiz will be like, here’s a glimpse.

Kevin: Bello (Hello)
Alia: I’m not Bebo, I’m Alia.
Kevin: Poka? (what?)

(Alia Bhatt takes out her phone then pokes Kevin on facebook)
Alia: Why are you wasting my time, when don’t you begin the quiz?

Hana, Dul, Sae (One, two, three) go

Kevin: Yi kai yai yai! batooay als Minions ads? (What do we minions eat?)

Alia finally sees the English translation on her screen.

Alia: Onion? I swear I don’t know.
(Oops! ‘I swear’ in Minion parlance means underwear)

Kevin: Poka? UNDERWEAR?

Alia: WHAT? shame on you Kevin. You eat underwear

(Confused Kevin, then takes out a banana and offers it to Alia)

Alia: How dare you? You eat underwear and now you’re offering me this banana out of your pant. Eeeks!

A livid Alia gets up from the hotseat.

Kevin wisher poopaye (goodbye)

Alia: What? Poop aye! Go to the loo.

Kevin presses the fire alarm, ‘Bee Do Bee Do Bee Do’.

 

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